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How to talk to your doctor effectively about pain
Giving specific details about how you really feel can make all the difference in getting the right treatment.
Americans are no strangers to pain. About 20% of all adults suffer from chronic pain. More than 7% report having pain so intense that it has limited their life or work activities over the past three months.
“Pain is complicated. We all feel it differently. Some of us have a higher tolerance for pain. Others feel it more intensely,” says Caitlin Donovan. She’s a senior director of the National Patient Advocate Foundation.
How we view pain in others can also vary wildly. For example, in one study, researchers asked participants to watch men and women who expressed the same amount of pain. The results: Participants viewed the women’s pain as less intense than the men’s. They also believed that the women were more likely to benefit from talk therapy than pain medication.
Why the gap? Part of the problem is that pain is subjective. There’s no test that can effectively rate your pain. This can make it hard for your healthcare provider to know what you’re going through. Instead, they will rely on your own words to help them. Which is why how you talk about pain is so important.
Here are some smart ways to do just that.
Get detailed and descriptive
It’s best to be as specific as possible when it comes to talking about your pain. Here are some good words to use:
- Aching
- Cramping
- Gnawing
- Burning
- Sharp
- Shooting
- Stabbing
- Tender
- Throbbing
It also helps to describe the following to your healthcare provider:
- How long you’ve had the pain
- Where you feel the pain
- If your pain is in one spot or spread out
- If the pain is constant, or if it comes and goes
- What helps the pain and what makes it worse
The clearer you paint the picture, the better your provider will be able to see it.
Focus on function
Tell your provider how your pain impacts your everyday life. Explain how it affects what you can and can’t do at work and at home. Does your pain stop you from doing activities? Share that too.
It’s also important to set expectations for your care. “Let your doctor know that you assume that your treatment and overall approach to healthcare will be with the goal of bringing your health back to baseline,” says Annette Ticoras, MD, an internal medicine physician.
“Give them a snapshot of who you are. For example, you are a busy working mom who can’t let back pain sideline her from going to her job and taking her kids to activities. This way, they are able to get a sense of who you really are,” Dr. Ticoras says.
Share your history of pain and treatment
For this, it helps to keep a pain journal. Whenever you have pain, try to write down as many details as possible. Include:
- The day and time it happened
- How severe it was
- The type of pain. (Need help? Use the word list above.)
- Where it hurt
- How long it lasted
- What might have caused it
- Any other symptoms you had at the same time
- Any treatment changes you recently made
- How the pain changed your mood
These details help show how much your pain limits your life. They paint a picture of how pain affects your ability to sleep, work, exercise, and spend time with friends and family. “It can really make a difference in how a doctor perceives your pain if they hear from you that it wakes you up several times during the night, for example,” says Donovan.
Also, let your provider know what treatments you’ve tried and whether they worked. Include any that they’ve suggested before too.
Bring a friend or loved one with you
You may find it helpful to have a second set of eyes and ears. If you bring someone with you, they can help you ask questions and take notes during your appointment.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions
Maybe you don’t understand how a treatment works. Or why your provider isn’t ordering more tests. Ask the questions that are on your mind so your provider can share answers.
Get a second opinion, if needed
It makes sense to give your provider some time to problem solve. That may mean a few days or weeks. It may even mean a few months. It depends on the condition. If you feel like your concerns aren’t being addressed, or your pain isn’t improving, consider getting a second option.
“It’s a good idea to get a fresh pair of eyes on the situation. Another doctor may see it from a different angle,” says Dr. Ticoras. One study found that getting a second opinion cuts the chance of misdiagnosis in half. A third opinion drove it down even further. And, of course, getting the right diagnosis is more likely to lead you to the right solution.
Article sources:
Chronic pain statistics: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Gender bias and pain: The Journal of Pain
Chronic pain overview: Cleveland Clinic
Second opinion: Mayo Clinic Proceedings
